I Am Death

We have a bloke where I work whose last name is "Death". How awesome is that? I am sure he's heard it a thousand times before, but I couldn't resist telling him that he is the only guy in the company who can call in sick everyday:
"Sorry, can't come in today, there's been a Death in the family."

Need a measure of your mortality? Try The Death Clock. Based on a few inputs, you get handy countdown of the seconds till your eternal sleep. It seems my last breath is due Nov 22, 2041. Bugger... I had plans.