How To Promote A Sport

Look to Warney lads. And pray for sun. The Poms (Aussie slang for 'Englishmen') have worked out an almost foolproof three-pronged marketing campaign that has, in the space of a month, pushed cricket to the top of the most watched and talked about pastime in all of the sports-mad British Isles. Here's how they did it:

Take the most famous series in all of cricket, and host the most exciting and closely matched test series for a half-century. And then balance nearly every game on a knife-edge, driving us mad with nerves till the very last day/wicket/ball.

As if the titanic struggle on the pitch is not enough, throw the unreliable English weather in as a factor that may very well be the fateful hand that guides this outcome.

Ensure your national soccer team is playing like arse, and blame the manager.

My prediction for the all-important Fifth? The legend, Warney, will be the key (it's not a pitch for pacemen, although a soggy ball favours no man [now there's a quote]), and the English will feel threatened enough in their second innings that they will start to bat for a rain-assisted draw.

Hard to explain why to all the Yanks, but trust me, this is nailbiting stuff. And two islands (one big, one crowded) will grind to a nervous standstill this weekend with one eye on the tele, and one on the English skies.