Classic Carrs

Jimmy Carr, an English comedian who you may have seen on Comeday Central hosting "Distraction", comes across on stage like a Rhodes scholar crossed with a butler. His routine has a very wordplay feel, chock full of quick one liners and rapid-fire puns. On stage, he never breaks into a smile, and is not a warm character, but more a classic straight man without the physical comedy. Here's a few favourites of mine from his half hour of standup on CC:

I met a girl at a party whose name was Pitanka. I said "That's an unusual name, you don't hear that very often." And she said 'I do'.

Ladies, if you have a burning sensation when you pee, it is one of three things: One: a urinary tract infection. Two: a bushfire. Or three: someone is talking about your vagina.

My wife asked me "Are you having sex behind my back?" I said "Who did you think it was?"

I live near a remedial school, and there is a sign by the road that says "Slow Children." That can't be good for their self-esteem.

And my absolute favourite: "If we are all Gods children, then what's so special about Jesus?