"Skywaller.. Skywalmer... Here he is: Skywalker!""

I consider myself a vaguely competent Star Wars geek. I am not a roving Encyclopaedia Galactica of all things Star Wars, but I am familiar enough with the original Episodes 4-6 to place myself somewhere in, say, the top 30% of SW geeks (remember—it's a bell curve!).

Mainly, this is because I was a fan, who then got a job with the license for a few years, leading me to long days of pondering the minutia of that "galaxy far far away" (and then trying to write it in 3 lines or less). I even garnered myself my very own action figure, but that's a different story—and one reasonably known amongst those people probably reading this.

But a few weeks after watching Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, a strange question just occurred to me. A question so fundamental that I am convinced that I must be missing some immensely obvious Star Wars factoid. As such, I post this with trepidation, completely aware that the answer is probably lurking right in front, and I am only one reply away from imminent ridicule and forced-removal from the upper 1/3 percentile.

DISCLAIMER: Be warned! This is an attempt to find logic in an imaginary movie universe, albeit one that many people take very seriously. I do think that suspense of disbelief demands we find some logic in our movies (except when watching Oliver Stone "documentaries"). And poor old Star Wars has probably been subject to more examination than any other franchise, besides possibly Star Trek. This is perhaps a little unfair on a few thousand people who just wanted to make a hit film. Nonetheless, I need an answer!

In my best Rod Serling voice...

Imagine yourself in a place far, far away, at around the end of Episode III. You are wearing Jedi sandals, and witnessing the birth of Padme's "Acme Instant Incubating Twins". You and your peers fear Daddy Vader and his Wizened Father Figure will hunt for the twins, so you propose to split them up and take them far away from each other.

You decide to hide Luke on his father's home planet of Tatooine. Personally, a decision distinctly lacking in imagination, but I'll squint around my suspense of disbelief holes and accept some weak justification like "last place he'll ever think of looking!").

Now cast your mind forward in time. A time where a desperate galaxy is about to rediscover A New Hope. Our future-saviour, in his first act of heroism, bursts into his sisters holding-cell on the Death Star and excitedly proclaims: "I'm Luke Skywalker, and I'm here to rescue you."

Now... it may just be me... but if I wanted to keep a secret child from his murderous father and the nefarious Imperial Government, I'm pretty sure I wouldn' let him keep the last name of SKYWALKER!

Conclusion? Palpatine should have been able to find Luke in the Galactic White Pages.

Related web oddity: Do a search in the WhitePages.com for last name of Skywalker. The first match? Annikan Skywalker of Mogadore, OH. A cleverly organized prank? Or the sad product of fanboy and fangirl (accidentally) copulating? We may never know.